Sunday, October 15, 2006

Haunting questions...

Is this a terrible sanguivorous misanthropic world? I think not. It's all in your complex or not-so complex head. Why do some of us have numerous problems while others live a problem-free life? Why do we seek answers when there aren't any? Why do we look for happiness outside us? Why do we implode when we don't find it?

The problems that we face are ONLY because of us. Seldom are other sources the cause. But we find solace in blaming others. We tell ourselves "I m fine, it's them." I did that. Many times. And here I am with no one around me. When I say no one I mean people who mean a great deal to me, people who taught me how to walk. I knew I was fucked up all along, only I didn't know what to do to rectify it. You know when I learnt that? When I lost all. Should that make me happy or sad? Should I brood over losing so much or look ahead and face this new life with a smile on my face? Most of you might think the latter. But do you know how difficult it is to leave behind everything that made you what you are today?

Then again, if these people had faith in me long enough they would be delighted to see who I am now. Sadly, they walked out , washing their hands off me. They were my elixir, my life. Family never played a vital role in shaping me the right way. I would not blame them though. They would want me to be a certain way and in the process fail to see me as an individual, as a unique entity.

What changed me? Why did it take so long? Why didn't they stay?

Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.

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