Passion of the mellu
Ok! So I logged onto Blogger now and this is what it said : تسجيل الدخول باستخدام حساب Google . Yes, the middle east syndrome. When one of my friends told me thats howits gonna be I thought he was fooling around but I kid you not, I had to type my password first and then the login id. Besides this technological cultural shock, I think I am ok! I didn't feel too out of place here when I started looking around, nor did I have an upset stomach for a week. So far so good.
The irony is that I feel like an outsider with my "family". Don't quiet get the languae the talk in ( Malayalam), don't get their jokes ( the fake laugh for a long time hurts my cheek bones :P) and their religious practices. I was baptized 2 days back; not like it matters to me but the whole event kinda cheesed me off. For one, I had the behave the way they wanted me to ( Kinda spoilt that way :D) and the church dude "crossed" my forehead with oil. Oh and thats not it. He dipped my hair which I had just ironed in a mini tub of water in which he "mixed" oil :-/ Little did I know that the worst part was the next day, my first communion. 3 hours of aramic + mlayalam chants/hymns etc. In a nutshell, 3 hours of my life I will never get back but would do anything to. Through these hours I clung on to the hope of having brad and a spoonful of wine and guess the hell what? The dude gave ne tiny portions of pretentious bread and GRAPE JUICE. I am sure Christ was a lot more alcoholic than that! I am getting married in the church today and no, I do not get to wear a dress.
The place is awesome though. Went around the city for a bit and checked out all the malls. We are for sure thinking of moving here provided I don't have to interact with "the people" too frequently. Also, Pepsi and Coke taste better than in India,as do ALL the other food stuff :P I have to get ready for my second wedding now and of course the fake smile during the reception. Yaay! The joy!
Some come and go but some stay...
Sometimes we think people around us totally understand us and accept us for who we are and at other times we feel there are not too many of our kind around and that no one will ever get us. Our brain is oh-so-complex and as humans we have an instinct to complicate our lives beyond recognition.
I have had “friends” who come and go. Some of them realize they don’t get me instantly and leave, some stay and try for a long time to get me and leave when they give up. The former are the ones that don’t cause considerable hurt and bitter feelings. The latter however is a very different category altogether. I can safely say that when anyone becomes my friend, I give my 100% and beyond. To me, friends are family.
I have made mistakes in the past with friends and learnt from it. But when people say they have tried to understand me and are leaving me cuz they failed to do so, I feel pretty lousy not cuz they left but cuz I misjudged them. I probably thought they would stick by me and that they get me because that’s what they portray which is obviously deceptive. This might be a very hasty conclusion but I have a few friends in my head who I know will stick by me and I don’t plan on trusting anyone else till I probably gain back that faith that I lost when a “friend” walked away.
Seriously though, who is a friend? Is it someone who will stick by you no matter what? Will he/she point out where you went wrong and stick by you anyway? Or is it someone who will leave you the second they want to? The friends I think will stick by me are:
“A”- We talk about everything and understand each other to a great extent and have been friends for a very long time. He almost let go of me (I am a very let-goable person) but I had faith in our friendship and we are doing good.
“B”- She is a bitch. But I can’t do without her. She calls me fat. She is late for every appointment but I adore her for the way she accepts me for who I am. She has stuck by me thru my toughest of times and has been my pillar of strength. I can comfortably say that there is no end to our friendship.
“C”- We have been thru similar times and empathize with each other because of that. We have long endless philosophical conversations. He confides in me a great deal and I respect that. There are some disconnects in our relationship but I try to ignore them. All in all, a great friend.
“D”- Ah well, we probably talk once a month or lesser but I know she is out there and I can count on her anytime and vice versa. Someone who doesn’t seem emotional but gets me inside out.
And then I think about the person who walked out on me. Lol, shame on me! I am proud of who I have become and of the kind of people I associate with. They are no saints, but hey who doesn’t have their share of flaws? I have funnily noticed that people who call other people “mere mortals” and so much below mere mortals themselves. In psychology, I have read that “superiority complex” does not exist. A person exhibits his inferiority complex thru “superior” statements. That’s a topic for another day!
I have finally looked at someone leaving me as learning about myself and others. I am growing slowly yet steadily! And I have these people who walked out on me to thank for :)
Labels: friends, mistakes, shallow
