So softly death succeeded life in her,
She did but dream of heaven, and she was there.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Happy(?) Birthday...
Hey Bro,
I was going to leave a post on your blog but I decided not to. Happy birthday. I miss you. I used to think you are around, watching over me and shit. Do I think that now? I don't know. That feeling used to help me get thru the times I miss you. Now that I don't believe that...you know where I am going with this.
I just hope you are fine wherever you are. I miss your hugs, I miss you calling me "sis" hundred times a day, I miss all our pranks, I miss crying like a baby when I heard about your plans of moving to the US. Where the fuck did you move to now? I know you are nowhere close to me. Just give me the strength to carry on with life without you in it.
Heh. It's been a year and a half. I am mad, aren't I? You always knew that :)
This is a self-portrait of my grampa taken on his cell phone :)
I have always been meaning to write about my grandad who is by far the most awesome person I have come across. I have lived with him all my life and I have seen him transforming into a very old sick man from..well..a healthy old man.
He served in the Indian army for what seems like an eternity. Thanks to his stories about his army life. His mental age is not more than 25 years, anyday. He thinks the way I do in many ways although he can get painfully annoying at times. I guess that comes with the wonderful package called "old age". He gets extremely repitative at times. And I don't think people understand what it feels like to be told something 20 times non-stop. I am not even exagerrating here. He married my grama when he was 30 years old (She was 16! Yikes!). They NEVER got along too well but I guess, they learnt to live with each other over time. Their fights couldn't get any sillier. They could be the only reason I think about not getting married :).
My grampa is stubborn, authoritative, loving ( but has a weird way to express it, mostly by shouting)and organized. He is the only 86 year old gadget freak I have seen! He has a cell phone (although he is at home 24 7) because he believes it is a "necessity". He is weird in many cute ways. Yes, I blame the weirdness on the genes. He has a damn bell near his bed to call for my grama. No no. It is not a bell that goes "Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring". This goes "Jingle bell jingle bell...". He talks to me about everything including his escapades as a young boy.
He used to be a bundle of energy, always wanting to know what I am upto on the computer, which boy I am talking to over the phone, messing around with the dvd player, eating every edible item in the kitchen. Now, he is just old. Very old. He has lost 20 kilos over a matter of few months. He hardly eats anything. He cannot think of a day without his oxygen cylinder. He doesn't talk as much.
Thatha (as I call him), is pertrified of death. It is pretty surprising, considering he is from the Army. When he feels a little uncomfortable, he will want to be rushed to the hospital. I remember when I had to take him to the hospital at 3 am. The doctor said he was about to leave and that there is pretty much nothing they can do about it. They tied up his hand and legs as he was unconsciously moving under the influence of drugs. I waited outside the glass door, staring at him, asking him to hold on. A few hours later, his pulse was almost back to normal. The doctors said it was a miracle. Thatha has had close encounters of this kind one too many times. But I know for a fact that he will not leave till he WANTS to. He has the will to hang on and enjoy every breathing moment of his life.
I feel extremely sad seeing him this way, right now. But I just hope he does not suffer. He has been a dad to me and I cannot possibly imagine a day without him.
Grandma and Grandpa, tell me a story and snuggle me with your love. When I'm in your arms, the world seems small and we're blessed by the heavens above.
Ah, it's nice to be back after two very eventful weekends and loads of work during the week. Has my life changed in any way? Not like you care but yes, very much so. How, we will not get into.
I was away with Lauren last weekend to Pondicherry. Cheap (nice, nonetheless) hotel, beautiful beaches, lovely roads (I live in Chennai, what did you expect!) and oh yes, the ayurvedic massage. How can I possibly not mention that? Let's just say there is very fine line between getting an awesome massage and getting abused. So, question the touch :P. Last weekend, we were at Mahabalipuram. More beach, some work, some delicious nutella pancakes.
While I was away, "Shivaji" got released. ** Text deleted for I might get killed for my personal opinion on the movie. If you want to comment on the video, do it at your own risk. It was great knowing you.**
Shocked? Is this for real? Is this "ethically" correct? What do you feel when you see the video? I know you feminists are getting off seeing this ( No, I am not one of them). I personally believe that men and women have set gender roles to play which is considered natural. This "process" for one is breaking that cosmic harmony, that way of nature. Eventually, I am positive this will lead to nothing but negative result of some sort.
I was talking to one of my friends about it and sharing with her my feelings about male pregnancy and she quoted these words: " When God is showing us the way, why not follow it?" This was wrt male pregnancy. I refused to argue with her for it could have led to some hardcore violence. There is a "Science" to this piece of shit process. I mean, yes, science is developing at the speed of light BUT wake up, you "scientists". Draw a goddamn line!
To me, this is no worse than boob implants or a nose job. Actually, I take that back. This is worse. It is against nature. Yes, this is my personal opinion. But think about this. What will the man's emotional state be before, during and after pregnancy? What kind of relationship will the child share with the father? Moreover, aren't we already sulking about population explosion? I have heard people say " Be a part of the solution". Well, I certainly do not think getting a guy pregnant is a very smart solution to that problem.
You know what? Maybe this whole male pregnancy thing is a damn scam. That rhymed, lol!
Nature is just enough; but men and women must comprehend and accept her suggestions.
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