BIRTH OF SANITY

Ah, I have been thinking about what to write for over an hour now. And I still am. One thing I realized is that it's not enough for one to feel like writing. You ought to know what you want to write about! Especially when you are multi-tasking and yet, that compulsive thought about wanting to write wont go away,*yawn* besides which it is 2:13 am or so my comp indicates. I think I should write about umm...umm.. there I go again! I woke up rather late today, went to baywatch with Roma. The gang i.e, Roma, Buh, Roonerthespooner and I were supposed to meet to "plan" out our weekend. Ok, here is a quick glance of our planning sessions.
Me- Hey! You guys want to do something this weekend?
Rooner- Oh yeah, lets go to bikes! *almost jumping off his chair*
Roma- You guys go ahead.
Buh- I m not sure if I can make it.
Me- Alright then. We' ll do something else. Like..umm..umm..
Roma- How about a beach resort on mahab?
Rooner- Oh yeah, lets go to mahabs! *jumping off his chair this time*
Buh- I m not too sure, you guys go ahead.
Me- So, lets plan this out. We leave around lunch-time and stay there for the night, get back next morning.
Roma- Hey, how about Ooty? Fuck mahabs!
Rooner- Yeah! Oh my god! That's a great idea! *from the floor on which he fell , jumping off his chair the last time*
Buh- No way! I can't make it.
Me- Why, buh?
Buh- Just can't. You guys go ahead.
* Rooner, Roma and I exchanging the we-can't-go-without-buh-cuz-he-might-cry-later look*
Me- Alright. Lets stick to mahabs then.
Rooner- Umm..but, but, but I wanna go to Ooty *moving his hands around like a baby that cries for lollypop*
Roma- Yeah, we should. Buh, c'mon. We have never done this before and it 'll be fun!
Buh- Nope. I can't.
Me- Ok, you guys..I m starting to get a little pissed off. How about you guys deciede and tell me?
*Rooner still throwing a mega tantrum in the background while eveyone is trying to do their best to ignore it*
Roma- Fine. Mahabs it is then.
Buh- Mahabs is good.
Rooner- But, Ooty is so much more fun * in his whiny, chummy voice*
Buh (a little annoyed now. Whew! finally)- No arun, we can't go there.
Rooner- Fine. We can do Mahabs. *like he gave up his pride and honor*
Me- Ok, so no more going back and forth because apparently, I m sick of it.
And then, we all say bye to each other and leave. Roma and I are on her bike.
Roma- Pri, Pri! How about Pondicherry. Cheap booze, stay, travel..everything. It ll be fun.
Me- Right..I guess.
Roma- Message the guys and ask them!
I message.
Buzz. Reply from Buh- No!
Rooner- I m ok with anything. Convince Buh.
Me- Fuck Roms, I m not getting sucked into this again. You guys deciede.
Roma- Pri, I m driving. Just call Buh.
Me- Arrrrrrrrrghhhhhh!

So, that was a preview of our "plans" and how they are "made". You get to know from the above conversation about every individual's character. One is still in the embryo twenty two years after his birth, one wants everyone to stick to his time-table. Well, the other two are angels. Now go figure!

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

This is one movie that I will NEVER forget. Apart from the fact that it is one hell of a mind-fuck, this movie is deeper than many people perceive it to be. Firstly, it reflects the power of attraction. Joel and Clementine fall in love although they had erased each other from their memories through a psychiatric procedure after ending their relationship. The story shows how impractical it is to "erase" someone / certain events from one's memory although it might sound ideal at the moment of unhappiness. When Joel and Clementine break up , the latter does not give herself time to introspect her wrong-doings instead she erases Joel from her memory. This does not work too well for her as she commits the same mistakes in newly formed relationships which inturn makes her life living hell. The plot is something like this :

On a Valentine Day, Joel Barish (Jim Carrey) feels the impulse of going to Montauk instead of working. After spending the cold day on the beach, he meets Clementine Kruczynski (Kate Winslet) on the train station and they have a crush on each other. Joel and Clementine do not know that they were mates in the past. Joel has just erased Clementine from his memories when he found that Clementine did exactly the same, when their relationship ended. However, along his erasing process, Joel becomes astonished when he finds that he still loves Clementine and he does not want to lose her, fighting for keeping the memories of their moments together instead.

Imagine this: You think you have a small fight with your partner and that everything will be ok eventually, you decide to make the first move and talk it out with her only to hear her say "Do I know you?" and she really means it.

How happy is the blameless vessle's lot! The world forgetting, by the world forgot; Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd.

I had a lot of thoughts in my head . Blogger took so much time to open up and poof! My head is back to being blank now. I tried my skills (or the lack thereof) in photography. Anyway, I think I managed to recollect what I wanted to "blog" about.

Forgiving. Is it overrated? I do know for a fact that there is a lot of cultural pressure when it comes to forgiving. There are various spiritual and cultural views on forgiveness like how Jesus forgave (is that a word?) Judas, theBiblical betrayer and Krishna forgave urrmm..well, some guy who betrayed him I guess. And then we heard our parents endlessly bedtime storying us about how forgiving is an essential aspect of any relationship. I am sure we did not give it a second thought after falling asleep until one day when reality struck us in the ass. Until then we probably thought that it is easy to forgive, that infact we would no matter what forgive someone close to us even if they did commit the greatest crime.

If I had to think of a situation that was less conducive to forgiving another's behavior, it would have to be when a relationship is falling apart. How can you possibly be expected to forgive your partner for cheating, or lying, or being an abuser? It's too much to ask! Or is it?
It's not always easy to forgive. But without forgiving, you will not be able to move past the anger the other person's 'wrong' has produced in you. Anger may put your entire relationship in jeopardy. With enough anger and rage inside yourself, you cause damage to other relationships in your life.

Can there be any doubt that unforgiveness and the resulting anger motivates someone to stalk and kill their unfaithful partner/spouse? Can there be any doubt that unforgiveness and the resulting anger motivates a partner/spouse to destroy an ex's reputation with lies and innuendo?

It's not easy to forgive the pain of betrayal, the pain of abuse, the pain of loss. Yet, without forgiving, you cannot move forward to new, fresh relationships. Without forgiving, you cannot truly mend a broken relationship.

Forgiveness and penance work together to make for reconciliation and forgiveness is possible even without penance. So even though someone hurts you and refuses to apologize, and even if this means that the relationship cannot be repaired, you can still offer forgiveness—for the sake of your own mental health ( too strong a word, but true).

That’s because forgiveness by itself is still psychologically preferable to holding a grudge. Why? Because the bitterness of a grudge works like a mental poison that doesn’t hurt anyone but yourself. Seeking revenge or wishing harm to another will, at the minimum, deplete your strength and prevent your wounds from healing. In the worst case, the cold hunger for revenge will make you into a victimizer yourself. Lacking forgiveness, you and your victimizer will be locked together in the hell of eternal revenge.

How many times have you wondered if you did all you could to save your realtionship? Forgive yourself for "failing" to stay in a situation without hope.
Can you forgive? Should you forgive? Have you forgiven and regretted doing so? Forgive for your future happiness not for theirs.

“Forgiveness is the answer to the child's dream of a miracle by which what is broken is made whole again, what is soiled is again made clean.”