Sunday, January 20, 2008

INDIA AWAKENING!




So there was this news that flashed all over the TV and newspapers for nearly a week after new years. A very unfortunate event in Mumbai wherein 2 women were molested by a mob of 70 men! Below is NDTV’s article on the same:
Mumbai ashamed, two girls molested

NDTV Correspondent

Wednesday, January 2, 2008 (Mumbai)

The shocking pictures of two young women being molested by a mob of 70 to 80 men at Mumbai's Juhu area in the early hours of New Year's Day, has ashamed the city.

The women, one in a black dress and the other in a jeans and top emerged from the JW Marriott with two male friends around 1:45 am, and began walking towards Juhu beach close by.

A mob of about 40 got after them and began teasing the women when one of the women swore loudly at the hooligans. But the mob, now 70-80 strong, wouldn't let go.

They trapped the women near a vehicle and a tree, and pounced on them. A man in a white shirt tore off the black dress. Another, in a blue shirt, led the assault.

As the women fell on the ground, dozens of men jumped on them.

These pictures were taken by two Hindustan Times lensmen, who alerted the police. The HT photographers claimed that the police didn't summon them, but they went and recorded statements as witnesses.

Archana Tyagi, Additional Commissioner of Police, Mumbai said, ''I have seen reports today in Hindustan Times. We will certainly take action. HT didn't show me the pictures yesterday. It happened on 31st night. I got in touch with the girls, they are not from Mumbai and not in Mumbai. We will take action as soon as possible.''

The police said that they will register a suo moto complaint on the case.

Meanwhile, Mumbai's top cop, Commissioner D N Jadhav feels that the incident is being blown out of proportion and that the police did whatever they could to rescue the girls. The commissioner also said that molestation can happen anywhere.

The state's Deputy Chief Minister R R Patil made a statement saying, that the police chief's reaction was inappropriate and that the government was taking the matter seriously.

There is strong reaction from the people on the incident. ''Mumbai is heading towards being the Delhi jungle, where women are attacked every hour. Even if there is no complaint from the girls, police should take action immediately. I am ashamed to live in a city, where there is disrespect all around,'' said adman Alyque Padamse.

''Women in Mumbai are not safe. We have always been asking for an increase in women police force because Mumbai is so crowded and so many people are coming from various places, I think security should be beefed up,'' said Dr Shubha Raul, Mumbai Mayor.

Exactly a year ago in the otherwise known to be safe city, a girl was molested by New Year Eve revellers at the Gateway of India.

Marriott distances itself

The hotel J W Marriott, which the two women had reportedly just left before being attacked by the mob, has distanced itself from the incident.

In a statement the hotel strongly objected to being dragged into the controversy and asserted that the incident did not take place outside the hotel, but closer to a school further down the road.

In fact the hotel added that an assistant commissioner of police was at the hotel along with the staff supervising.

The statement said, ''Whilst we understand that Mariott Mumbai is one of the most important landmarks in the vicinity we strongly disapprove the loose mention of our hotel in this very unfortunate incident.''

Defending its own arrangements the hotel said it had tripled its security for New Years Eve and advised its guests to stay off the streets.

Now, I sat back reading the news, hearing people talk about it in various emotions like anger, fear, sadness, shame etc. and I felt the exact same way when I heard of this for the first time. A little while later, I thought WHY? Why does this happen in India? Generally when I have questions in my head, I initially seek for answers from outside like, in this case, talking to people or watching debates on this issue on the TV. Some people said women should not be allowed to go out that late and if they do, they should ne ready for this kind of an event to occur. Other feminists thought these men should be executed for disrespecting women. But I did not see anyone talking about WHY it happens.

My husband and I were talking about it when he told me about the “aquarium” system in Singapore wherein women are displayed behind glass doors and men can “pick” the one they want and release their sexual energy in a healthy way (as opposed to molesting women). These women (Commercial Sex Workers) are paid by the hour and get a medical test once in every 15 days. This system is legal in Singapore and every woman in this profession carries a license. The following are the stats of Rape in Singapore in 2007:

Crimes against persons registered 4,084 cases in 2007, compared to the 4,103 cases in 2006. This category refers to crimes where the victim is an individual and suffers bodily harm as a result of the crime. It includes offences such as murder, rioting, rape and outrage of modesty among others. There were 18 murders in 2007, compared to 17 in 2006, all of which were isolated and unrelated. All, except one, were solved. Excluding statutory rape cases, rape fell from 80 in 2006 to 72 in 2007.

Yes, Singapore’s population is way lesser than India’s but I honestly feel that Indian men are denied of a socially acceptable sexual vent which leads to such traumatic incidents. In the frigging land of Kamasutra where most of the Hindu Gods practice polygamy and the pillars in numerous temples have sculptures of people doing it doggy style, Sex is taboo! Wow, now THAT is hypocrisy. As a kid, I wasn’t told about the “good touch” and the “bad touch” is. Was I affected by that? Yes. I was 7 when I asked my mom how babies are born and she said they are “gifted” by God. It’s truly amazing how our folks come up with innovative ways to make babies. The best one however was when my friend’s mom told her that babies are made out of clay by God and the lack of any body part is because he runs out of clay. Why is so hard for parents to educate their children about sex?

Coming back to the Mumbai incident, the commissioner stated that the issue is being blown out of proportion. Yes, it was made a big deal one of the reasons being the men who were involved were not behind bars. One they were caught, the issue faded away from TV and newspapers. When someone as powerful as the commissioner exhibits such a callous attitude and says things like this happen all over the place, what message does that give out to molesters and rapists? That it is ok to do it because it happens everywhere? That molestation is not that big a deal? Exactly a year ago, a woman in her mid 20s decides to usher into the New Year by going to a party and pays the price by getting molested by a mob in spite of police presence and in full public view; she yells and screams for help as a few perverted men tear her dress below the waist. Even her companion at the party – a young man of almost same age – is unable to help her when in the course of being pulled and pushed, the woman falls down and the perverts get another chance to outrage her modesty for nearly ten minutes.
For all those who blame the victim saying she was inappropriately dressed (read scantly dressed) and therefore invited lecherous men to molest her, cameraman Shadab also captured another incident of molestation –a saree-clad woman, at the same venue, and almost the same time getting molested by a small mob of men. She was comparatively lucky to have gotten help and move out before anything untoward could happen to her.

I know for sure that I would not like my kids to grow up in India. India is rich in its culture blah blah but where did basic human values disappear?

Shame India!

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Thursday, November 29, 2007

Superhuman?


I normally don't like writing posts on any single person although most of my blogs are people related and more often than not they are based on experiences with a particular person.

Off late, I have been meeting people from the "other side" of humanity. So far, I saw men who could love (or something like that), hate, game, eat, game, hate, eat... Then I met Raghu, who is way up there in the homo sapien scale. Besides being extremely intelligent and kind, he is extremely loving and forgiving. Yes, there are many people like him but not anywhere close to how intense and passionate he is about life and what he does. What does he do besides being a wonderful human being? He owns a firm, runs it ALL by himself. A part of which includes making nuts, packaging and the works. You can imagine how many nut jokes from me he faces everyday! To make my work easier, the nuts come in flavours like "herb n cheese" and "hot n spicy" :D

Jokes apart, I won't be wrong if I called him the perfect human being. Well, he can't sing for "nuts" if that counts :) I only wish I had met him earlier; MANY wrong decisions in my life could have been avoided. I am very glad he is a part of my life now and I hope this nutty affair continues for eons.

Cheers bro! You TOTALLY rock.

Peace out ;-)

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Monday, October 15, 2007

..l..




I m getting married! I m getting married! Boy oh boy am I thrilled! BUT we have been facing MANY obstacles the past few months. Most of it is cuz I belong to the Brahmin Community which is the "highest" caste in the caste system of Hindu society which apparently is the biggest deal in the face of humanity. My fiancee is a Christian and well, his folks decided not to be a part of the wedding or our lives, for that matter.

The step we ( my fiancee and I) have taken is a pretty bold one considering how frikkin anal the society we live in is about caste and religion. My granpa is still not too happy about the wedding. He rubs in it everyday, slowly, hoping it would cut thru my skin like a blunt knife. He says " Didn't you find a Brahmin boy? Or a Hindu for that matter? You have embarrased us a great deal. No one has EVER done that in our family." This is when I am thinking, lets take one point of his at a time :

a) I might have found a Brahmin boy but he will NEVER find me :P. Seeing the way the men in my "brahmin" family treat the women, no thanks. Really. I can't wait for my husband to come home from work while I either don't go to work or come home early and cook. Just when I start to think "AAAh, I can eat the food I made", PSYCHE! I can't. I have to wait for him to come home and I have to wait for him to finish his dinner while I serve him. And if he is especially very hungry that day, I might just have no food left to feed my poor tummy.
b) Embarrased? You? I think not. My family is a walking embarrasment. I don't want to get into details on that one, my mom reads this shit. Take my word for it.
c) And it's not even true that no one has done that in our family. My first cousin married a christian, a few months back!! I know grampa has serious memory issues but this...!!

I also think,I dare not say these things out loud for his doc has asked me not to "provoke" him, he might go breathless and then the works. So, I shut up thinking I won't blog any of this, I only have to hear this for a few more months till I get married and leave. Just then, today he tells me the priest who is to conduct our wedding ceremony came home and was evidently "disappointed" I did this and that my family has to feed 4 brahmin boys a few days before the wedding as a sign of shame and asking our ancestors to forgive us. THAT DID IT! AAAAARGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!

But guess what? I am still extremely thrilled about my wedding, about spending the rest of my life with the guy I love with all my heart. But yeah ..l.. to those who think like my grampa( I still love him n all).

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Saturday, February 24, 2007

"Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do."


I had a lot of thoughts in my head . Blogger took so much time to open up and poof! My head is back to being blank now. I tried my skills (or the lack thereof) in photography. Anyway, I think I managed to recollect what I wanted to "blog" about.

Forgiving. Is it overrated? I do know for a fact that there is a lot of cultural pressure when it comes to forgiving. There are various spiritual and cultural views on forgiveness like how Jesus forgave (is that a word?) Judas, theBiblical betrayer and Krishna forgave urrmm..well, some guy who betrayed him I guess. And then we heard our parents endlessly bedtime storying us about how forgiving is an essential aspect of any relationship. I am sure we did not give it a second thought after falling asleep until one day when reality struck us in the ass. Until then we probably thought that it is easy to forgive, that infact we would no matter what forgive someone close to us even if they did commit the greatest crime.

If I had to think of a situation that was less conducive to forgiving another's behavior, it would have to be when a relationship is falling apart. How can you possibly be expected to forgive your partner for cheating, or lying, or being an abuser? It's too much to ask! Or is it?
It's not always easy to forgive. But without forgiving, you will not be able to move past the anger the other person's 'wrong' has produced in you. Anger may put your entire relationship in jeopardy. With enough anger and rage inside yourself, you cause damage to other relationships in your life.

Can there be any doubt that unforgiveness and the resulting anger motivates someone to stalk and kill their unfaithful partner/spouse? Can there be any doubt that unforgiveness and the resulting anger motivates a partner/spouse to destroy an ex's reputation with lies and innuendo?

It's not easy to forgive the pain of betrayal, the pain of abuse, the pain of loss. Yet, without forgiving, you cannot move forward to new, fresh relationships. Without forgiving, you cannot truly mend a broken relationship.

Forgiveness and penance work together to make for reconciliation and forgiveness is possible even without penance. So even though someone hurts you and refuses to apologize, and even if this means that the relationship cannot be repaired, you can still offer forgiveness—for the sake of your own mental health ( too strong a word, but true).

That’s because forgiveness by itself is still psychologically preferable to holding a grudge. Why? Because the bitterness of a grudge works like a mental poison that doesn’t hurt anyone but yourself. Seeking revenge or wishing harm to another will, at the minimum, deplete your strength and prevent your wounds from healing. In the worst case, the cold hunger for revenge will make you into a victimizer yourself. Lacking forgiveness, you and your victimizer will be locked together in the hell of eternal revenge.

How many times have you wondered if you did all you could to save your realtionship? Forgive yourself for "failing" to stay in a situation without hope.
Can you forgive? Should you forgive? Have you forgiven and regretted doing so? Forgive for your future happiness not for theirs.

“Forgiveness is the answer to the child's dream of a miracle by which what is broken is made whole again, what is soiled is again made clean.”

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