..l..
I m getting married! I m getting married! Boy oh boy am I thrilled! BUT we have been facing MANY obstacles the past few months. Most of it is cuz I belong to the Brahmin Community which is the "highest" caste in the caste system of Hindu society which apparently is the biggest deal in the face of humanity. My fiancee is a Christian and well, his folks decided not to be a part of the wedding or our lives, for that matter.
The step we ( my fiancee and I) have taken is a pretty bold one considering how frikkin anal the society we live in is about caste and religion. My granpa is still not too happy about the wedding. He rubs in it everyday, slowly, hoping it would cut thru my skin like a blunt knife. He says " Didn't you find a Brahmin boy? Or a Hindu for that matter? You have embarrased us a great deal. No one has EVER done that in our family." This is when I am thinking, lets take one point of his at a time :
a) I might have found a Brahmin boy but he will NEVER find me :P. Seeing the way the men in my "brahmin" family treat the women, no thanks. Really. I can't wait for my husband to come home from work while I either don't go to work or come home early and cook. Just when I start to think "AAAh, I can eat the food I made", PSYCHE! I can't. I have to wait for him to come home and I have to wait for him to finish his dinner while I serve him. And if he is especially very hungry that day, I might just have no food left to feed my poor tummy.
b) Embarrased? You? I think not. My family is a walking embarrasment. I don't want to get into details on that one, my mom reads this shit. Take my word for it.
c) And it's not even true that no one has done that in our family. My first cousin married a christian, a few months back!! I know grampa has serious memory issues but this...!!
I also think,I dare not say these things out loud for his doc has asked me not to "provoke" him, he might go breathless and then the works. So, I shut up thinking I won't blog any of this, I only have to hear this for a few more months till I get married and leave. Just then, today he tells me the priest who is to conduct our wedding ceremony came home and was evidently "disappointed" I did this and that my family has to feed 4 brahmin boys a few days before the wedding as a sign of shame and asking our ancestors to forgive us. THAT DID IT! AAAAARGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!
But guess what? I am still extremely thrilled about my wedding, about spending the rest of my life with the guy I love with all my heart. But yeah ..l.. to those who think like my grampa( I still love him n all).
Labels: Caste, human behaviour
What's in a name?!
I belong to the Brahmin Community and I have never been too proud of it (you will know why if you click on
THIS). And you can use my comments area to diss us. So, my first cousin, who is obviously another brahmin, married a catholic which is considered worse than hilter killing a million jews. Why? Because we are brahmins.
All the Brahmin bitching aside, this is what happened. He told his parents, who are my uncle and aunt , that he was in love with Annie and was going to marry her. This cousin is like 27 years old. And as expected, the drama begin. They threatened to disown him, which didn't bother him much. But he respects them so he waited for them to change their mind. I would too, if I were him. But then, he 's getting older by the day, yeah? He needs to procreate and keep em lil brahmins comin' , so he decided to get married to her.
The day was fixed and he invited his parents who obviously did not show up as they did not even believe him. Talk about denial! Sigh... So they "disowned" him for less than 24 hours and "accepted" Annie into out family. Why the quotes? There are RULES:
1. She disowns her family.
2. She will do everything that her in-laws ask her to ( this is more of an implicit rule).
3. She will change her name to Deepa ( which is definitely more acceptable than Annie, being a Hindu name).
The list of rules is pretty big but I am stopping here as my post concentrates on rule #3. I have ALWAYS hated my name. Mostly because it is a very common Indian name. It does mean "beloved" and all but still..eehhh. I have always thought of alternate names for myself mainly because it does not feel too awesome when someone calls out your name and it's not you they are calling esp. when it is a cute guy. The pain!!
So anyway, the couple visited us this weekend and I had to call her "Deepa" because that was her "new" and improved (?) name! Yes, I fucked up and call her Annie a few times. And yes, I got yelled at by my grand parents for that. But I found it pretty amusing. A little later, I thought about it from her side. I mean, when people start calling you something different all of a sudden after say 27 years of your life, how would you feel? As a baby, you learn to respond when people call out your name and you build your self image around it. When you talk to yourself , you use your name (well, at least I do :P and if you think it is abnormal, ignore that statement). And then, it's bad enough you are getting married, you have to change your name as well!
The one thing that you thought you can call yours all your life. **Pscyhe!**
"The thing that a lot of people cannot comprehend is that Mother Nature doesn't have a bullet with your name on it, she has millions of bullets inscribed with 'to whom it may concern."
- Random person with a sense of humor.
Labels: "Family", Caste, Name
