Friday, August 29, 2008

The Joys of Motherhood-1

I wake up again at 6 am recollecting I slept only at 3 am and feeling this extreme urge to pee. But my throat feels dry at the same time. Do I drink water first or do I pee first? Decisions decisions. So I get out of bed, feeling the hangover. Only this time I did not drink the previous night. In fact, I stopped drinking a few months back. As I rush to the loo, I feel a slight twitch in my tummy. The baby wants me to pee as well! That’s a sign! So I suppress my primary desire to quench my thirst. As my day goes by, I don’t feel like eating although I am starving. But I think to myself that the baby needs the food so I try to eat . An hour later, I throw up. This is followed by a queasy, nauseating feeling in my tummy which spreads thru my body and slowly graduates to my head to give me a headache. “Pri, take a damn pill” you might say. But guess what? I can’t take any. It’s not good for the baby. What is worse is when someone says “It’s all psychological.” Now that definitely angers me. It’s like telling the symptoms of AIDS is psychological! OR maybe it’s not. Why would any self-loving woman “want” to throw up and feel shitty thru the day? And that too for something as wonderful as a baby. Nature in the form of hormones is cruel, I say. I have always imagined being exhilarated throughout my pregnancy. But as of now, I am pretty much incapable of such an emotion as most of energy is being spent in either rushing to the loo or feeling nauseated and extremely fatigued.
Despite all this, when I get home, and touch my tummy and feel the baby’s heartbeat it makes it all worthwhile. All the throwing up, nausea, urge to pee every 20 minutes, giving up alcohol, sleepless nights to mention a few. Although I am bitching about my symptoms, I get a little paranoid if I don’t go thru any of those even for a day. The baby has a heart now, it also has a tongue and tiny limbs!
Yes, all my posts till the baby’s birth and after will be about my pregnancy and the baby. So I apologize in advance if it sounds “gross” or “boring”.