BIRTH OF SANITY

So I was thinking, is it good to know if it is the "last time" to something or is it better we are unaware of it? There are strong points to either sides of it.

If you know it is the last time :

• You will get to say a proper goodbye and hence will feel how much it means to you.
• You will know what you are letting go of and why. (If you are a practical person, woohoo!!)
• Also, you will have memories to cherish(?) about the last time.
• You get closure which for many people, is very important.

If you DON'T know it is the last time:

• You will come to terms with it and move on easily.
• You won't have to undergo the painful process of saying goodbye and changing your mind impulsively to get rid of that excruciating sting.

I always thought getting to say goodbye is better than otherwise. Turns out, not. Actually, I am a little confused right now. I think it depends on the situation. If I had to say goodbye to something I cherish and value, I d want to say all that I feel. I will miss it a lot but I will know that I have made my peace with it.

It's a whole new story when it comes to the magical(?) feeling called "Love". You wish you were dead when that moment comes, you wish you vanished into thin air or that by some miracle you could undo everything that's gone wrong. But life ain't that easy now, is it? And what is this whole deal about "moving on" anyway? To be honest, I detest that word. It is overused and means squat. People NEVER "move on". If they HAVE to, even then there are events and images that are etched in the oh so complex human brain, both consciously and subconsciously. When they think they have complelety "moved on" some incident will trigger the past..thats when the subconscious becomes conscious.

On the other hand, if people do not take the pains to "move on", it will happen naturally if it has to. If it doesn't, then we learn to deal with it. Eitherways, our life is not going to come to a stand still. We, as human beings do ALL it takes to make ourselves feel better. Some of them drink away, some eat till they can take no more, while others starve. What do I in this situation? I either go for a haircut or I shop till I drop. See? We all do something, again consciously or subconsciouly. This is something that we are born with. Even if people inflict pain on themselves in order to "move on", they feel better about it eventually. At the end of it, whether we know it or not we NEVER say "goodbye" to ANYTHING. We carry the ugly baggage called the past to our graves. The only difference is that some people block it out, nonetheless all of it remains.

Too much sanity may be madness. And maddest of all, to see life as it is and not as it should be!