Sunday, April 15, 2007

A for Apple, B for Bat...M for Money!

I have been in a pretty lousy mood as I hate studying for exams. I don't study but I hate the very idea of it. This was not true until I finished my undergraduation in Psychology. Is it because I am getting old to write exams? I think not. I believe that the drive to hate exams and college life in general was instilled by the college I stepped in for Masters in Social Work. I am 22 years old (chronologically. Mentally maybe a few a years younger under certain circumstances). But from the time I joined this "educational institution," I was made to feel like I was either 2 years old or 40 years old. Initially, I would do all my work on time and yet "get into trouble" some some trivial shit which I didn't even know existed! And then, I slowly stopped doing my work on time because I couldn't care less. Then, I almost stopped attending classes. I would go to college once a week, on an average. And then, I got into trouble. This felt a lot more satisfying. I earned it!

The professors are a whole other story in this college. This is how they converse and I am not exagerrating one bit to make this post sound funny or whatever.

Me: Sir, May I come in?

Prof: Es, fleese. ( Translated in human lingo as "Yes, please.")
Me: Sir, I haven't been keeping too well, the past week. Here is my leave letter. (YES! We give leave letters. The last I did that was when I was 12!)

Prof: I am not be care why you are can't able to came to callache. If you are be die, you are be die here. Attendence is be low for you and we are can't able letted you to sat for exams of yours. (Whew! Yes, I have to translate this into sane lingo in my head all the time and now I am proud(?) to tell you that I am an expert at it. By this he means, " I couldn't give a rat's ass about why you don't come to college. If you fuckin' die, you die here. You have low attendence and we cant fucking let you write your exams." Minus all the profanity.)

Me: I request you to excuse me this time, Sir. This will not be repeated.

Prof: Getted out! You are wrote a letter saying you are came to callache in regular from tomorrow. (" Get out! Give it to me in writing that you will be regular to college from tomorrow.")

This is only one of the many similar conversations between the professors I try to ignore and me. So this one time I ask for a recommendation letter and guess the hell what? They ask me for Rs. 1500 for 10 reco letters! Have you heard of any "educational institution" that does that? Hell freaking no. That is not even it. I was not carrying that much cash then so I told them I'd pay them the next day. But noooooo! The baby wants candy NOW. Even if they thought I would never pay them, that's insanely..umm..what's the word I am looking for? STUPID. Because they have all my original certificates and I intend to get my Masters degree. So, I borrow cash from a friend and pay them because I want to letters ASAP. And what happens? They won't give it to me right away. And they ask me to come the next day. So finally, I paid them the cash and didn't get my reco letters on time. This, again is only one of those incidents that highlight how insanely money-minded my college is.

Also, before I joined, it said in the handbook that admissions were purely based on merit (and quota system, of course!). I hope the word "purely" means what I think it does because half of my classmates i.e., around 25 of them paid their way into college. It's funny to think people are willing to pay for slow death. Seriously though, where does all this money go? We do not have a canteen , nor do we have water in the toilets. Oh oh but what we have, is a headmistress who owns an awesome awesome car. How did that happen?

One of the boys who is supposedly a junior almost made a physical move on a girl who also belongs to our college after having passed vulgar comments. He was drunk. In college premises. So this girl goes to the principal for help. Bad move. Why? Because this boy is the son of an obscenely rich prick who runs an NGO and well, let's just say this a-hole got himself a big house a few months after tsunami. So obviously, this rich prick "helps" the college. When this girl went for help to the principal, the boy was made to apologize. Period. When this girl brought in her parents, the principal begged them to let it go. We, as students protested against this. What happened? We were asked to shut the hell up.

Once I am done with these goddamn exams, I am planning to burn that place down (after getting back my original certificates, of course). Anyone who wants to join this noble cause or support it, may do so.

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