BIRTH OF SANITY

Flashes of the past haunted her mind again. This time, she felt every moment of it, when they went wrong, when they touched her. She thought back , one of those incidents prominent in her mind.

She was playing with her dolls. She loved them. They loved her back, she thought. She lived in her own little world with her dolls. The world where she was happy with them and chocolates and ice creams.

Her mom started working when she was 3 months old. She barely got to see her. Today, she felt extra lonely, a feeling no 6 year old ought to feel. She ran to her dad, "Daddy, play with me." He looked at her and said what she always heard him say , " They are watching me. They will get me." She never understood what he meant. Disappointed, she ran back to her room, where her dolls were waiting for her. She heard a knock on her door. Petrified, she hid behind the curtains. She knew he would open the door and come in, anyway. She could hear footsteps nearing her. She held on to the curtains as though it was a cloak of invisibility. She closed her eyes real tight that it actually hurt. She heard him pulling the curtains, he was getting closer. She froze like always. She knew what was about the happen. She knew what she was about to feel. Again, she wished the ground split open and she fell hundred feet below like she had seen in some sci-fi flick. Again, that did not happen.

He touched her shoulder. Suddently, she felt like she wasn't herself. She left her body, now she could see herself feeling ugly, helpless. She wished she could help what she was witnessing, what her body was undergoing. She stayed away from her body, in a dark corner of the room and watched. After a while, she saw him say something to her body. She did not want to hear it, but she moved closer. He said "Thank you, dear. Don't tell anyone what happened here. I love you and this is how people express their love. I will be back soon." She stood there, naked and used. Her body still shaking, she managed to get her clothes back on.

For the first time, she felt inner pain, growing inside her and what was worse? She knew this was not the end. She realized this was the beginning to her end. She stared at her sweaty palms, the ones he had used to touch him. "Am I a bad person?" she thought to herself.

She looked outside the window, saw children of her age playing, they seemed happy and carefree. Her innocence had been stolen forever today. It had been snatched away from her and thrown into the wrecks of humanity. Tears filed her eyes and for the first time, she cried all alone. Cried for her soft body that had been bruised by rough hands. Cried for her childhood that had been tainted with filth for the rest of her life.